Day 3

They say it takes time.

I smiled. A real smile. It felt good.
I'm making plans. We're going to get back on top and on our feet. One foot in front of the other.
I have more patience. Especially with the boys.
With some assistance, I've been sleeping. And staying asleep.
I can see trust in the future. And paranoia in the rear view mirror.

As long as it keeps going in this direction, I don't care what they say.

It takes time.

Want, Need

I'm about 99% sure what they're going to say. I don't want them to say it, but I know they will. They have to. I have all the signs. I know myself too well to try to ignore it any longer. In order for me to be myself again, they need to say it.

I wish I had to confidence to be able to walk in there with my head held high. Hopefully soon, that will change. I need the confidence. I need to believe in myself. I need to sleep. I need to be able to function. I need to trust in people. Their words, their actions. I need to be stronger for myself and for my family. I pray that this is an easy transition and that all will be well again soon. I want to get back to living. I need to.

I Made a Friend

So I'm blogging to you from the bath tub (I know, sorry. It's one of my relax places I rarely use) and all of a sudden I see this little one scamper out from behind the toilet. I think I scared him. I'm too much of an animal lover (and bath tub lover) to do anything about it so I'm currently watching him explore my bathroom. I did however let my dad know the other day we have a mouse problem and he will be hearing about this one too! I love animals, but I mostly love them outside. Where they belong.

Without it, You Are Nothing

Trust

Its a very powerful 5 letter word. It can make things happen. Make things easier. Bring people together. Or it can do the complete opposite. It provides more hurdles. Creates more work. And tears people apart. Think of every relationship you have. Best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, mom, dad, in-law, co-worker. They can all be destroyed, made harder, or create friction in even the simplest of tasks.

trust

   [truhst]  Show IPA

noun

1.

reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of aperson or thing; confidence.

2.

confident expectation of something; hope.

3.

confidence in the certainty of future payment for property orgoods received; credit: to sell merchandise on trust.

4.

a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is mytrust.

5.

the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.

(Taken from Dictionary.com, of course)

Confidence. Certainty. Entrusted.